August 13, 2004 - Ten Years

So.....my ten year High School reunion is tomorrow. I feel a little old. Ten years slipped away from me. All those chances to keep that passionate promise "I will keep in touch," lost. Friends who stuck with me through the worst, ugliest, dumbest, weirdest, most neurotic times of my life, and I lost touch with them. Or I would contact them, sporadically. Every few years, an email, a phone call, a chance meeting in some random place ("Say, you look really familiar, did you go to Calaveras High? Holy shit!!). Tomorrow I get to see them again, some of them, anyway. To those that I loved and lost touch with - I still love you and hold the memory of you very close to me. You helped me survive. You kept me (moderately) sane. You were, and no doubt still are, wonderful. I will see as many of you as I can tomorrow.

And now, let us address the rest of you fuckers I went to High School with.
You know who you are, you redneck, racist, homophobic, ignorant, backwards, violent, hurtful BASTARDS! That's right, I am talking to YOU, Sara Hollingsworth, and particularly YOU, Nick Reid......ooooooh how I hated you! (I know, I know, it's been ten years, Donnelly. You can stop hating them. You're right, of course, I CAN stop hating them...but I'm not gonna.) There are others I hated back then, but, without dragging out my yearbook, I can't think of their names at the moment. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe you haven't changed since High School, maybe you'll snicker and point at my blue hair. Maybe you'll be offended by my tongue piercing or tattoos. Maybe you'll still call me "dyke" under your breath and assume my husband is a fag. Maybe you'll try to look down on me for who I was ten years ago. Maybe not. Maybe you've grown up, too. I hope so. But, I am harboring the secret little wish that you're still the exact same fuckstick you used to be. Yeah, that would be good. If living well is the best revenge, I think that it should indeed be served cold with a great big ol' side of you still living in the god damned trailer park with your same small town prejudices and no real idea of what a great thing life can be if you were just a little more open-fucking-minded.
grrrrrr....bastards.

But, ten years later, I have a wonderful life. I have a fantastic husband. Fantastic wonderful smart funny sarcastic romantic loving husband. I have terrific friends. Terrific amazing dazzling charming warm caring friends. I'm going to a great school and working my ass off for it. I have traded off insanity for a fairly healthy eccentricity. I'm a happy girl. With just a little residual bitterness that I think I hold onto more for its entertainment value than anything else.

Anyway, full report on my return.